boring . what should i do ? *hrmphs*
yes ? no ?

.xoxo.
amanda

Wake Me Up When September Ends ~

UPDATED : 30th SEPT 2010 ; 5:28PM

you asked me a question before , asking why I always remembered what you said . The only reason I could tell is I wanna record all our memories together , good nor bad memories , we can still pass through it together as one .


Do you still remember when is the first time we met ? Where we met ? The first time we met is a day before Flemington Hotel's grand opening . And I still remember , it was still early in the morning , mum , sis , Sarah & I reached there and waited at the Rainforest Cafe . Then , when I was trying to go to the lounge section to prepare our keyboard , two guys( you & ur dad) came out from the lift and you passed by me . Actually , I seriously didn't know that the guy is you until I saw your car at the basement parking when I left .


Then , I know we attend the same additional mathematics tuition at Batu . But we never talk before . Later on , when I scrolling Bing Gang's profile , I saw his featured friend which look so familiar & eventually I added him without knowing who he is . After a while , he approved me , he came to find me in fb chat , asked me whether I know him a not & i answered no because I really don't know he is actually him(my bf) .


Then , we started to chat on fb chat . One particular day , I still remember I changed my profile picture , he came and asked me(through fb chat) isn't I am the girl that same tuition with him and that time I was like wth ?!?! and eventually click his picture to see . Then only I realize he was the guy I met every week twice in tuition and yet , we never talk before . Not to say that he don't want to talk with me , but I a lil shy towards the person I don't know . And i don't know why , till 1 day I was rushing to go back , I gave him my phone number and he did message me :X


Since then , he will always find me through fb chat , even though I already know who is he , I will not even talk with him in tuition . Even sometime he said hi or bye , he never answered him(i just answered him once or twice before) . Okay , I know I'm rude -______- .



.



Then , suddenly one fine Friday , when he was attending his tuition(I actually don't know he was in tuition) , he messaged me and asked me for movie . And after asking my mom and sis , I agreed . But according to him , he was just trying to disturb me and mana tau I really agreed and so he have to movie with me . Sis & I went to bought ticket first while waiting for him to escape from tuition with his friends . And , that was the first time we came out together , watched Whiteout , I was a lil shy that time and he was trying hard to find topic to talk with me . After movie , I left with my sis without telling him(i don't know how to tell him) and I feel so bad but I still message him and tell him that I'm going back .


.


I still remembered , I was in dilemma on my birthday , don't know wish tuition to attend . Because I having 2 tuition on Thursday . I actually wanna attend Batu's tuition(because can see him maa) but was influenced by my friends to attend PJ's tuition . So , he didn't get to buy me a cake and celebrate with me at tuition as what he told me .


.


Then , my school held a Fifth Form Farewell party . Everyone was busy searching for clothes . And my gang planned to go out on the 31st Oct 2010 to hunt to our clothes . For unknown reason , I called him out . I still remember that time , Dee & me was waiting for Sher to fetch us . Then , he called me and asked whether wanna him to fetch me a not(he was at TS) . Then , I was like no need laa since Sher is on the way already . Then , off we go to Taiping Town . First stop , the boutique next to Popular and I told him I was there and asked him to find me . He really did come and find me but he went to Popular instead of the boutique == . And I was to go in to look for him . After that , he joined us for the clothes hunt .


Suggested to lunch , my gang wanted to go Larut Matang and I was like haaa ?? so hot :X . Then , he fetch me to Sentral . Went to Oldtown for lunch . But I never eat , just drink . I was too bored that time because he was busied eating , so I asked him for his phone to search for song . Was looking at the song , but all Chinese song(not interested except for Justin Loh's song xD) . So , I go looked at him picture and guess what ? I found a photo album with the title "AMANDA" . Out of curiosity , I pressed the album and saw my photo in it !! I was like WTFF ?!?!?! Then , nvm lorr . I terus exit , then again I saw my picture . Guess where ? This time , it was in his WALLPAPER !! And I was like OMG , what happen to this guy ? he looked like a maniac :X . Then , I asked him about the photo , and he just smiled .


After that meet up with the gang and continued our hunting , saw a necklace which I like and I told him .


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2nd Nov 2010 , he message me early in the morning and asked me isit really very like the necklace . Weird right ? So I just answered yesh ~ That night , I went to tuition early , he also went early(he already inside the class) but he came down to find me and we just sat on the staircase there and talk . Then , all the student came and is time to enter class but I didn't want to . So I ajak him to ponteng(i so bad :X) , he told he that is the first time he ponteng tuition . Then , we went to Pelita to eat and headed back to tuition . I still don't wanna enter tuition . So , we just chill in his car . Then , out of sudden , he asked me to open his dashboard and I was like why ?? And he still asked me to open . But then , I don't want to open . So , he terpaksa open it and take out a small pink box of pressie to me . Then , I opened it and saw the necklace which I told he I like it before . He bought it just before tuition to give it to me so that I can wear it during the Farewell Party .


According to his blog post , he said he was stupid because he didn't ask me to become his girlfriend at that time even though he already offered himself to wear the necklace for me .



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On my Farewell Party , I did wear the necklace the present me . And he promised to find me at SSL that night but he couldn't make it because he is out of town to dinner and his mom don't let him out after that . But , its okay since I went out with him on the afternoon .



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SPM sesson . Sometimes we studied together or should I say most of the time . We studied at Starbucks , CRC and MacD . And being such a good and sweet boyfriend , he always accompany me for lunch(we always have double date with MC & RongPin) after exam , he picked me up and sent me back for lunch always . And I still remembered , one day , I had sorethroat , and he was so nice to make a honey drink for me and bring it to school for me(Fong was jeolous . LOL) . Also , he always fetch me back to my shop after exam(so good uh ? and he stay somewhere near Simpang . You know ? My shop and his house was like 1 north 1 south okay ? And he still okay to fetch me back :D)




.



China Trip . 8 days 7 nights trip . That mean we have to be apart for 8 days ! As usual , I was sad and I missed him badly(i even cried when 2nd day there lor) . When I was in KLIA , he video called me for 1 hour ! OMG right ? Maxis some more lor that mean call rate and video rate is different ! Not like Digi nowadays . I went there during Christmas session so I tak jadi celebrate with him . Hopefully this year can celebrate together *finger cross* . According to his blog , he waited me still 2++am on the night I say I will be back to Malaysia . Poor him .


Went out with him after I back to Taiping but he was kinda busy because he started to work for his dad . So , that mean less time with me . Seriously I sad because it was just like 1 week + or 2 weeks before my NS and I know I will miss him .


.


NS . The night before NS , I guess he teman me till 12 midnight outside my house . Early next morning , he went to find me for breakfast and fetch me to Rakan Muda together with my family . Seriously , that time I really want cry already wan lor . He accompany by texting me the whole way until I reached Langkawi around evening time . When I was there , I called my mom and cried for the 2nd day . Then I was okay after making some friend . Having the friends that cares about me make me feel better . Then , I had less and less time together with you(my bf) . But I still phone you every night instead of my parents . But then , later on , you are getting busier and busier . Every time I called you , you must be busied with something or sometime you are too busy to hear my call . (but I know is not your fault) After a week of trying to call him and he never pick up , I gave up because Caryn will know how I shouted in the dorm because I missed him so much , so happily that I can phone him but he never listen to my phone call .


Then , I get to know a guy who really caring and apparently Grace likes him too . So he will be the one who always care me , accompany me and make me laugh during class in NS . For your information , we still in the same class when the class in shuffle for 4 - 6 times already . And Grace is jeolous about it because I always say class with him . During this time , I feel myself like no topic with my bf . Sorry for hurting you , not replying your text and never pick up your call sometimes .


6th Feb 2010 . You came alone to Langkawi just to surprise me and visit me . But I'm cold enough to call you leave because my Sarjan was tell seing us . IM SERIOUSLY SO SORRY . I DIDN'T MEAN TOO !! D:


Chinese New Year . We get to go back for almost 1 week . First thing , I went out with him . He cares me a lot . But I still like got the feeling to avoid him . I don't know what the hell had happen to me . Then , got one time , he wanted to buy couple ring . We tried the ring , and then , I still insist that their don't have my size . After went back to Langkawi , I tried to avoid him more . Ignore me message and everything . At the end (25th Feb) , I asked for breaking up without giving him any reasonable reasons . I break up with him after his birthday so that he won't had any bad memory on his birthday . But according to his blog post , that day was his chinese birthday(i cried after i read his blog for hurting with so much) . I still remember I have to go for Chap Goh Meh performance rehearsal after I told you about breaking up . I went for rehearsal with my red eyes . Told Niel about it , he asked me to cheer but I still can't . Until my partner keep asking me to smile :DDDD LOL == . Then , Niel even told me that he don't mind spending money to belanja me ice-cream if it could make me happy .


After 2 weeks , NS end . I went back to Taiping . Never ever tell him I was back .




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SPM result time . The day before , I think he message/call me . Then only I told him I was in Taiping . One the result day , was messaging with him . Went out with him after we get our result . Met up with the gang in Sentral . They asked me what happen , but I just don't know what to answer . Few days later , we couple back . I still remember we were walking to Giordano , you held my hand but i pull off . Then you held my hand harder . Then , I bought u a purple colour Polo Tee as ur late birthday present .



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4th Apr 2010 . Remember what day ? The day you asked me to remember forever apart from 2nd Nov 2009 . The day you put the ring on me . The day we make our promises . Your most romantic moment ~



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Then , finally is your turn to go for NS . Seriously , i don't want you to go . I missed you . I remembered , i went to sent you off . That was the first time I met your parents . I was so shy and scared . During you in NS time , I missed you so much . I even asked you to curi curi keep your phone because I wanted to message with you =X


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Then you came back from NS for Utar . Again I was sad , because we can't study together . Although I want to follow you to Utar but I can't . And I started my Form 6 on the 2nd week of May .


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22nd July 2010 . The most unexpected day . The day that cause me to cried everyday , can't sleep well every night , nightmare every night of you , cried will driving and all our memories flashback in my mind . I can't even concentrate in school . 4 days later , is like everything back to normal because I promised him I would change . And I say I would change because you changed because of me once and I don't mind to change because of you this time .



Then , I was invited to his dad's birthday . I was so damn stress and tension that time . I am scare that I can't communicate with them . You know , I'm always shy . But then , I make it ! :D



Btw , I am so proud of myself that I am not shy towards his family already . I also did breakfast with them , dinner with them , follow them to Butterworth and also celebrate Mid-Autumn Festival with his family :D Cool right ?? xDD


.
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Then , till today , 29th Sept , 2 more days to 1st OCT , that is my birthday . Its okay that you can't celebrate with me on the exact day as what you promised since you promised to celebrate me for 2 days a week after my birthday . And I get to get more present for you . So , why might celebrating it late right ?? BLUEXKK !!! xPp . hahahs ~ (p/s : sorry when I annoyed you when you tell me about it . I just can't accept it maa . is like so sudden . but after that jiu okay lea :D)

p/s i love you dear ~

gtg
.xoxo.
amanda

10/Mac/2010
today you been back..
din sms you also don know that u been at tpg the.
the heart really happy.
just now call you and chat so long..
got some feeling like back to normal.

just now i go see your fb profile
our memory photo been delete by you..
the heart really suddely like kena knife cut.
bleeding litter by litter
than go to friend for sale u also put me for sale the.
the bleeding getting more and more...

but, however i still remember my promise and will keep my promise until forever
i still will wait you....
Bii...

two week after the since happen. everything should be also slowly back to normal. but the thinking and also the feeling is still the same. always just will miss you. think of you, and ask why i am lonely now. If u ask me this few week i happy or not. i can say i not. everytime just happy or sad also think back of you. every night also cant sleep. you know ah. when driving i just turn the radio to hizt FM, just hear the song that play i also will think back the moment that with you. just feel like everything surround me also got our memory. while waiting you, the time really pass so slow to me.

today 27 of feb... the second day after u saying break up with me.... my mood my thinking is still cant stopp think of yesterday wat beeen happen. why it will happen. been cant sleep for hole night thinking the reason and how to save back. at the end i just like getting no answer.. althought i very miss u and got many think wanna tell u. tell u i know my wrong that i did last time and i won repeat again. tell u now i been understnad and believe love really need trust...
i don think u know that. today also my birthday. is yang li zheng yua chu si shi. i down hole day but i din not really show on my face. i don wan my parents know that i got problem. trying to smile with them act like i am normal. but in the deepest of my heart is really so xin ku.. full of question. wat should i do now. wat will happen if i done something. even i din do anything right now, izit i will regreat next time. just now my cousin asking me how your gf celebrate with u. i nearly don know should say wat. izit say she break with me the. i won say that.
however. maybe the title of this blog is the time to change..
the daily life without your accompany geting forever

early in the morning just around 9 something... a message make me stop doing my think and just stare at the message.. something that i never think before suddenly appear to me. before that i know we have some problem but din reallly think that will grow until this stage. everything really just come very suddenly. don know should how descrip my feeling and mood after seeing that message..
last time i will say this is because distance problem. but now.. after this, i won think about that anymore. any thing happen is between u and me. non of distance problem. the relationship only is the important. love is just need a trust. before that i din do that so only will chage to now this stage.
but now, everything been too late. too late......

23/2/2010

one week and one day after bii back to camp...dear feel so miss you...this few day back from bandung beening wait for bii to call me. but wait everyday also din hear bii call me also. maybe bii are busy gua. bii, how is your flying fox leasson oh?? and yesterday your M16 class few how??? get to learn many thing?? deaar always also think of bii, also miss my bii so so much... dear so hope bii call dear laa....
beside that, that day is not dear don wan reply bii, iss because dear din bring 012 go indonesia. than on saturday, dear use up all my credit so cant reply bii... during at bandung..dear everyday also finding anything so that can present to my belove bii. althougt there got many thing can buy. but dear don know bii like which one lei.. choose the still scared bii you don like oh. so really so hard to make up the mind. at the end dear also get to brought bii a present. hope that bii will like it lo... beside that. Bii... where is dear de birthday present lei??? bii still din celebrate with dear yet lei...
when bii back dear wan bii celebrate with dear...dear don care.... hehee.... miss you.. bii....
MUACKzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

6/2/2010

bii....when bii call your family de oh??? why bii din call dear de.... when 6 something..bii de sis got call dear...ask me at where.. and izit i drive car go or sit bus go kuala kedah.. than dear got ask your sis when bii call back oh..but your sis din ans me... bii... bii izit don like dear one person go visit bii???? bii izit got anthing that keep in your heart oh... why dear feel like this time wat thing bii also like don wan tell dear..dear really hope that my feeling is wrong...baby...
than after few minutes... your sis call dear again.... your sis ask me izit free tonight..bii de father wan belanja dear eat oh..your sis say...but dear cant go....cause dear need to go to my grandfather de bro de thing...need to go there have a pray...bii... dear really very scared.. ddear de mind really just full of question... izit between us beening happen any problem?? izit dear think too much???or Is dear sensitive.... bii..... Bii.... baby dear miss you....

6/2/2010

early in the morning...
7.15am
dear been wake up....
get to wash my face and clean and pack all my cloth...
than when 8am
dear been check out the room and
going to the town....
bii
before the hole night...
dear just thinking wan to buy wat thing for bii lei
don know she wan to eat wat lei???
dear really thinking of so many thing
but your friends tell me bii wanna eat shusi...
but dear find hole the town of langkawi...
dear find two round jor...
also cant get....
just can wait bii back tpg
dear only tread bii eat...
therefor..
dear think until no the ho..
dear suddenly think off at jetty got starbuck..
so ma rush go there buy a
caremel hot chocolate
chocolate chip ice blanded
a blue montain cheese cake
and a chicken pie lo...
than
finish buy the....
been rush to bii de camp lo....

5/2/2010

today...

just got one aim
that is alone cannot feel scared cannot feel lonely
going Langkawi to give her a surprise
i just got one aim that is can see her...
early in the morning
9.00am
i siting express bus go to butterworth,
i reach at 10.05am,
dear still waiting bii to message me...
when just reach the bus station...
dear been get to buy the ticket to alor setar...
the bus will departure at 11.00am
hole the way in my mind just thinking
wat is the reaction will bii do when saw dear lei???
really full of waiting..
than..
around 12pm dear been reach alor setar
and sit taxis go to kuala kedah jetty..
and get to buy 1.30pm de ferry ticket....
that time really feel so bored and lonely...
but maybe because gt aim....
hope to see my bii soon...
so just one person sitting at jetty
wait for the time to arrive lo
bii..
this really the first time dear go travel alone...
before that dear also din try before..
this time trip really just aim to meet with my bii
nothing much...
dear really so miss you....

Tomorrow....tomorrow is our 3rd Month the.. bii.. but also the first time bii not beside dear celebrate with dear.. say fast not fast, say long not long.. we been together 3 month the.... the fake make us meet each other.... than be couple until now...although bii now not beside dear.... but dear still din change.. still keeping my promise.....dear really so miss you... although dear are busy....

I love you bii...

bii..
that day go langkawi visit you..
really so miss you...
but bii you really din have many change la...
still so pretty
still is my little naughty bii...
hehe
that day see you with your friends
can play can chat...
dear also nothing worried lo..
just very miss you
dear really so hope bii every night can call dear a while... bii
dear really so miss you..
beside that,
that day hear your friends say
you at camp there how miss dear..
dear really very happy very sweet....
I lOVE YOU
bii.....

beside that,
that day when go langkawi,
don know why dear really like no pressure with your pareants
just like dear go with my uncle like that.
dear can chat with your father also your mum,,
that day really very happy but also very tired...
happy is because can meet with bii....
tired is dear have been traver feel days the...
but dear still is so happy....
bii...
MISS U....

Bii...

so miss you...
bii....
don know you at Langkawi there how lei??
cant chat with you
cant hear your voice
really so miss you

still remember our teddy bear
got miss her also ah??
now everyday dear saw the bear
just like seeinng bii
and think back the since
remember back the first day i present bii
remember back the first time see when bii go out with dear also bring her out
remember back everytime go your house fetch you
you also hugging her come out from the house
her just like you
really let me think back many thing
really so miss you la...
BABY


I MISS YOU

08/01/2010

so fast...
bii have been go NS six days the
although dear very very miss you...
I miss you
bii...

3/01/2010

today
is the day that bii going NS
dear feel like got many thing wanna tell bii
but just don know why when saw you
just like don know wan to say what

early in the morning
dear been wake up at 6.51
don know why i wake up without my phone alarm also
just wake up
beeing think of many thing
think that izit bii today will cry
don know bii today before go will how lei
will very sad or not lei
but however,
dear should feel confident with bii
should stand beside you
give you support

8.32 a.m
we reach at rakan muda
just come down from the car..
dear can feel that bii started sad
don know izit dear sensitive
but that what i feel
but dear know that bii won let other people
saw you wanna cry or sad
de moment
so how you are sad or em she tek
you also won cry
this really make dear feel more sad and don know should say wat..
bii when after you hug your mum that time
i saw your eye beeing red the
thats why dear don wan hug bii
i scared when just dear hug you will cry out and feel em she tek
so at the end
dear just teman you go up to the bus
and see you sit on the place
actually that time
dear also feel very em she tek
but i cant tell bi and put on my face
if not bii will more sad

At last,
bii had go to NS
and dear will keep our promise
promise wait bii coming back
bii
dear will miss you
every second
every minutes
every day
every week
every month

Bii,,
Dear love you......

yepee

Happy 2nd month also
bii..
love you..

HAPPY 2ND MONTHS !
ily dear :D



wee ~~ going out with my dear later . but wira again . stop laughing harrrr . ahem ==

hrmphs ~ someone yesterday cant sleep because write blog ==

lalala XPP . Lately always go out with my dear . Almost everyday also go out with him .
So , today decided to go out with my babes & also my dear . See ! With my dear again :)
Gonna get him a Giordano shirt for our 2nd month . Teehee ~~

And guess what ? I found this at Tzia's blog (JiaShin's friend) . Didnt know this world could be that small :X

Ahem ahem ~~ Cute lil couple (as what Tzia mention) hahasss

















gtg
.xoxo.
amanda

WHY

WHy
WHY WHY
WHY WHY WHY
why the god wan like that to us
izit this is the one of the journey that need to be
go through by us
need us to seprate for three month
or four month
or even six month
izit this all you been arrange
why like so cool to us
if the god really wan to test us
also no need so serious
let her go until Langkawi
don even let me have the chance to meet with her
not even a week once
izit this is all must been go through
so that our relationship will
last forever
i really so confuse why will it happen on us

But
however
i know we can been go through all the test that
been set by god
i know we can do it
i know you will with me together write our long story
without any full stop
without any question
i know we can last forever
i will trid this as a test toward us
i know we will
pass with
flying colour

james(0256)-31/12/2009

Bii

still got three days
you need go NS the...
don know should say what..
i still think i been can accept the true
i think i will ok
but the true is not..
just now when you tell me u feel scared
make me think back
i cant accept is you will leave me for three month..
between this period i cant even meet with you
even one day a week
also don have the chance
i cant imagine how you will at there
i also scared how you will stay at there
maybe u will say i not believe you
but to me
i just feel i worried you
don know how will you at there
if you facing any problem how you will solve it
i really very worried you..
bii...

james (0238)